took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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