i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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