Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
