piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She said her name was "party"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
