what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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