he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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