How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize