I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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