The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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