For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
