do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
