with your own penis?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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