How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
