Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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