Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
