screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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