They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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