so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
