Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
