Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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