Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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