did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
