You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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