I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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