yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
