i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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