so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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