yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
