Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
