hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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