I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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