we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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