yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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