i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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