We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
