You really coming over, don't trick.
Welp...herpes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
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I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dick very happy bro
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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