i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
