Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
