Can Purell be used as lube?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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