Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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