Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
