All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
