Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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