Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
