In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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