I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I deserve this hangover.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
