i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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