you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize