my mouth tastes like poor choices
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
