I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
