so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
