Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
