I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
