New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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