i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize