google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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