You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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