Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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