I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
