Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
