chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
