Joe is yelling at the trees again.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
