We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I party with great urgency now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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